Leading money to family and friends

Personal Finance Discussion Credit & Debt Leading money to family and friends

This topic contains 14 replies, has 13 voices, and was last updated by  ghost 2 weeks ago.

Viewing 15 posts - 1 through 15 (of 15 total)
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  • #1228

    Martinsx
    Participant

    One of the things that comes with being successful or being the one people look up to is the ever unending calls from family and friends to lend them money. I have had several experiences with my immediate family members and friends as well, and I actually lend them money but there’s one particular problem.

    This problem is family members and friends unwillingness to pay back the money. This has made me rule out getting back any money that I lend out to any members of my family. About lending to friends who never pays back, my solution to them is not lending them the full amount of money they requested for but instead I would just give them grant as a support.

    #1434

    xXInfectedXx
    Participant

    I’m happy to lend money to my father and mother as I know they will pay it back within 24-48 hours max. I trust my close families and my bank, no one else. It’s your fault if you lend cash and you don’t get paid back in full, you live in and learn from your mistakes. My advice when making deals is the deal formal instead of formal, write it down, and figure out who you can trust.

    #1435

    Vinaya
    Participant

    If payback is your primary concern, you should never lend money to your close friends or family members. However, if you are lending money to help your friends or family then its ok. lending money to close friends and family can sour your relationship. I never lend a big amount to my friends, I lend the money that I can spare. I am more than happy to lend money to my family because family is important.

    #1437

    KellyGeo
    Participant

    When it comes to giving money to any of my immediate family members bound by blood, I never consider calling it lending money with the view of getting payments back from any of them. This includes my parents and siblings, my money is equally theirs as well, so I can easily give them as long as I can afford to without getting into financial problems.

    But when it comes to lending money to my friends, 90% chance is that I wouldn’t get the money back no matter how much I try, and I wouldn’t want to press for the payment back too much to make it seem like it’s a total stranger that I lend the money to. So I try as much as possible to just give my friends grants and not expect it to be paid back. This way, it’s a win win situation for whether they pay back or not.

    #1438

    keibah2
    Participant

    I give money to my friends and family. Unless it is a very huge sum, I don’t consider it lending or expect payback because I know that they’d do the same for me too.

    #1513

    KellyGeo
    Participant

    I give money to my friends and family. Unless it is a very huge sum, I don’t consider it lending or expect payback because I know that they’d do the same for me too.

    You are very correct, it’s always good to lend help to family and friends and not expect the money back because they still do a lot of other things for you that are priceless. Just as you said, the only way to expect payback of the money is when the cash is too big to overlook. But it’s very important to evade giving such money out in the first place.

    #1845

    andrewfi
    Participant

    I’m okay lending money to my family as its never been for much more than a few days before they’ve paid me back. I think its a genuinely nice gesture that’s appreciated and goes a long way in making a big difference in someone’s life. Whether its financial, or emotional, we’re all in need of some support from time to time. So if one has the ability to help, I think everyone has the onus to do so. I can certainly recall past instances where I needed help paying for school and my parents were happy to oblige. It would be very hypocritical to in return say “no, I’m not helping you.”

    This means of thinking goes far beyond just money. I think everyone has an innate willingness to provide assistance. We’re all in this together, and should always look out for our fellow humans.

    That being said, lending money comes with risks. As you’ve alluded to, there’s a decent chance that money you lend may not come back when you want it to, or even at all. Thus, even though I have a good track record going for me, I never lend what I can’t afford to lose. In other words, if I’m lending money, its money that I can accept and not be in trouble myself if I don’t see it again. I’m trusting of my family, but unforeseen circumstances can always arise that can throw a change up into people’s repayment plans. I’m happy to help, and everyone should be too. Just exercise a little caution.

    #1850

    ElGuapo123
    Participant

    Of course i’ll lend my family money if they need it. That is kind of a weird question, who wouldn’t do that? You actually have to be sick in order to NOT help your family members. Money is the very least i can give them and help them with, without a second thought.

    #1935

    zenhashy
    Participant

    It is okay to lend money to your friends and immediate relatives especially when you see that they really need it. If they can’t pay because their means cannot do so, please try to understand them, after all they’ve been part of you. At least you did your part as a human being. However, if you see them not paying for no valid reason, then learn from it. Sometimes, you need to set limitations for them and for yourself. If the event is recurring and you allow it to happen then you are allowing yourself to be abused.

    #1964

    Raquella
    Participant

    Lending money has become a very tricky process this days, I lend money to parents without expecting them to pay me back,I believe it was not for them I would not be who I am right now, but when it comes to friends,most of the time when I lend them money, chances are that they will not pay it back,at the same moment I use that opportunity to shut them down, or should I say I use that avenue to close the chapter of borrowing money from me,once I lend a friend money and they do not pay back, every time they try to borrow money from me, I ask them to pay back their debt first before I can lend the some more money.

    #2142

    Martinsx
    Participant

    It is okay to lend money to your friends and immediate relatives especially when you see that they really need it. If they can’t pay because their means cannot do so, please try to understand them, after all they’ve been part of you. At least you did your part as a human being. However, if you see them not paying for no valid reason, then learn from it. Sometimes, you need to set limitations for them and for yourself. If the event is recurring and you allow it to happen then you are allowing yourself to be abused.

    I do agree with you on this about one helping his immediate family and relatives with lending them money when it’s obvious that they are in serious need of it. But one also need to be careful and observant when one’s kindness is being exploited and used against him because human beings are just made that way.

    #2147

    kingcool52
    Participant

    It is a difficult topic because after all, they are your friends and family. But I do think that you need to be careful with certain people in terms of lending them money because some people just don’t know when to stop. And then you have to get to the difficult discussion of saying that you just can’t give them any more money. And the biggest problem of all is having to ask for your money back from friends or family because it’s an awkward and difficult discussion.

    #2155

    ion
    Participant

    That’s the reason why I don’t have any relatives on my Facebook account. Some post on my social media accounts are looks like a status symbol for all of my relatives. They think I have money because I used to travel every month. I do lend some money for my relatives but I never ask to pay me back, and that’s gonna be the first and last for those who’s not willing to pay back my money.

    #2157

    InMyOpinion
    Participant

    I’ve learned my lesson not to lend anyone money. When I was in high school, living on my own, working as a McDonald employee a girl, we’ll call her Sarah would ask to borrow money from me. Though she was a manager at McDonalds and making more money I felt bad because she ask to borrow the money for a gift for her mom (her mother was dying of cancer at the time) and I would feel guilty if I said no. So I ended up lending her a couple hundred dollars and she would always have an excuse not to pay me back. One day I got frustrated because we had just gotten paid, I had needed some money for groceries and to pay my rent and when I had asked her for the money she said “I didn’t make enough to pay you back this pay.” I remember feeling very frustrated because she didn’t have to pay rent or groceries as she still lived at home. I knew her only bill was her phone which she had paid off the week prior so there was no reason she didn’t have enough money to pay me back. At the time I lived with my older brother so I called him while I was at school crying explaining him the situation. My brother than approached the girl and kindly asked her to pay me back because it was money that she owed me. I thought I had learned my lesson but…

    Another time, this one was more recent. About 3 years ago, a friend of mine, we’ll call her Katy, was going through a tough time. She was in her late forties and so was her husband. Katy’s husband was from the US so he wasn’t allowed to work until he got his Canadian Citizenship or a work visa. Katy and I used to bake professional cakes together and one day when I went over to her place to bake a cake for a client her hydro was off because she couldn’t afford to pay it. We couldn’t bake the cake at my place because my oven didn’t work properly so the cake wouldn’t have been baked properly. At this point we had already confirmed to the client that we would deliver the cake to her sons birthday party just a few days later so we needed to get this cake started. I agreed to pay her hydro bill and she had agreed to pay me once she got paid from her other job. (She had spent the money the client gave her for the ingredients we needed for the cake). Then she had called me crying in a panic because her phone was getting cut off and her phone was the only means of her to contact her son (who was a teenager), I felt bad so I lent her more money. Then she needed money for rent, then this than that. When it got to $2,000 I decided that it was enough and I wasn’t going to help her out anymore. We had agreed on a payment plan, $20/month (minimum) until she paid me the amount owing. Katy didn’t end up paying me for almost two years. Finally, one day I went over and she had a brand new Ipad and freezer, when I asked her if she was able to pay me back she said “sorry, I used the money that I got from income tax on the freezer and the Ipad, it was a treat to myself because I paid all my bills. Needless to say I was not happy and it got to a point where it had ruined our friendship and didn’t talk to each other. One day I got invited to a friends dinner party and Katy was there. She told me she finally ran into money and was only able to pay me back $1000. I figured $1000 was better than nothing. Learned my lesson, will NEVER lend anyone else money.

    If someone is short on money or needs money I either give it to them without “lending” it or I explain to them that I can’t afford to help them out. I’m not going to risk my financial stability to help someone else, especially when they aren’t spending their own money wisely. It’s never worth jeopardizing your stability to help someone else out, plus it ruins friendships!

    #2164

    ghost
    Participant

    It’s a hard one. You’d want them to help you if you were in the situation, but then again its your money and you wish they’d make better decisions so that they don’t need to lend. I make it clear indirectly that its not something I like doing, but am willing to help out when they need it. However, if they didn’t repay me when they said I wouldn’t lend to them again. I would also only lend to really close friends and family. Friends I have a harder time trusting with my money.

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