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Leading money to family and friends - Martinsx - 04-05-2018
[quote quote=1935]It is okay to lend money to your friends and immediate relatives especially when you see that they really need it. If they can’t pay because their means cannot do so, please try to understand them, after all they’ve been part of you. At least you did your part as a human being. However, if you see them not paying for no valid reason, then learn from it. Sometimes, you need to set limitations for them and for yourself. If the event is recurring and you allow it to happen then you are allowing yourself to be abused.[/quote]
I do agree with you on this about one helping his immediate family and relatives with lending them money when it's obvious that they are in serious need of it. But one also need to be careful and observant when one's kindness is being exploited and used against him because human beings are just made that way.
Leading money to family and friends - kingcool52 - 04-05-2018
It is a difficult topic because after all, they are your friends and family. But I do think that you need to be careful with certain people in terms of lending them money because some people just don't know when to stop. And then you have to get to the difficult discussion of saying that you just can't give them any more money. And the biggest problem of all is having to ask for your money back from friends or family because it's an awkward and difficult discussion.
Leading money to family and friends - ion - 04-05-2018
That's the reason why I don't have any relatives on my Facebook account. Some post on my social media accounts are looks like a status symbol for all of my relatives. They think I have money because I used to travel every month. I do lend some money for my relatives but I never ask to pay me back, and that's gonna be the first and last for those who's not willing to pay back my money.
Leading money to family and friends - InMyOpinion - 04-06-2018
I've learned my lesson not to lend anyone money. When I was in high school, living on my own, working as a McDonald employee a girl, we'll call her Sarah would ask to borrow money from me. Though she was a manager at McDonalds and making more money I felt bad because she ask to borrow the money for a gift for her mom (her mother was dying of cancer at the time) and I would feel guilty if I said no. So I ended up lending her a couple hundred dollars and she would always have an excuse not to pay me back. One day I got frustrated because we had just gotten paid, I had needed some money for groceries and to pay my rent and when I had asked her for the money she said "I didn't make enough to pay you back this pay." I remember feeling very frustrated because she didn't have to pay rent or groceries as she still lived at home. I knew her only bill was her phone which she had paid off the week prior so there was no reason she didn't have enough money to pay me back. At the time I lived with my older brother so I called him while I was at school crying explaining him the situation. My brother than approached the girl and kindly asked her to pay me back because it was money that she owed me. I thought I had learned my lesson but...
Another time, this one was more recent. About 3 years ago, a friend of mine, we'll call her Katy, was going through a tough time. She was in her late forties and so was her husband. Katy's husband was from the US so he wasn't allowed to work until he got his Canadian Citizenship or a work visa. Katy and I used to bake professional cakes together and one day when I went over to her place to bake a cake for a client her hydro was off because she couldn't afford to pay it. We couldn't bake the cake at my place because my oven didn't work properly so the cake wouldn't have been baked properly. At this point we had already confirmed to the client that we would deliver the cake to her sons birthday party just a few days later so we needed to get this cake started. I agreed to pay her hydro bill and she had agreed to pay me once she got paid from her other job. (She had spent the money the client gave her for the ingredients we needed for the cake). Then she had called me crying in a panic because her phone was getting cut off and her phone was the only means of her to contact her son (who was a teenager), I felt bad so I lent her more money. Then she needed money for rent, then this than that. When it got to $2,000 I decided that it was enough and I wasn't going to help her out anymore. We had agreed on a payment plan, $20/month (minimum) until she paid me the amount owing. Katy didn't end up paying me for almost two years. Finally, one day I went over and she had a brand new Ipad and freezer, when I asked her if she was able to pay me back she said "sorry, I used the money that I got from income tax on the freezer and the Ipad, it was a treat to myself because I paid all my bills. Needless to say I was not happy and it got to a point where it had ruined our friendship and didn't talk to each other. One day I got invited to a friends dinner party and Katy was there. She told me she finally ran into money and was only able to pay me back $1000. I figured $1000 was better than nothing. Learned my lesson, will NEVER lend anyone else money.
If someone is short on money or needs money I either give it to them without "lending" it or I explain to them that I can't afford to help them out. I'm not going to risk my financial stability to help someone else, especially when they aren't spending their own money wisely. It's never worth jeopardizing your stability to help someone else out, plus it ruins friendships!
Leading money to family and friends - ghost - 04-06-2018
It's a hard one. You'd want them to help you if you were in the situation, but then again its your money and you wish they'd make better decisions so that they don't need to lend. I make it clear indirectly that its not something I like doing, but am willing to help out when they need it. However, if they didn't repay me when they said I wouldn't lend to them again. I would also only lend to really close friends and family. Friends I have a harder time trusting with my money.
RE: Leading money to family and friends - Martin - 05-02-2018
You've got to be careful with it, I am reluctant to lend money to friends or family as I feel they will take advantage of me. I wouldn't lend to them unless it was urgent and desperate for them to have the money and I wouldn't lend large amounts.
RE: Leading money to family and friends - shreddedbullet - 05-24-2018
This is a big no for me. I'll give my family members, food, groceries, a tank of gas, or a place to stay for awhile if they need it, but lending money just doesn't seem to work out. My dad even gave me that advice growing up.
RE: Leading money to family and friends - EfficientNinja - 05-24-2018
It's a good thing I always keep a low profile when it comes to friends and family. I don't flash my wealth like other people do. This way they won't think of me first when they would be needing to borrow money. They'll be approaching those who look like they have lots of money when there are reunions or family gatherings. Those people would be their go to and I would be out of their radar.
RE: Leading money to family and friends - NoviceNinja - 05-24-2018
I have loaned money to a family member, and I have also borrowed money from a family member. In both cases, family gatherings were very awkward. I felt uneasy being around the cousin who loaned me money. It was also disturbing to be around other family members who knew about the loans.
No one wants to discuss the loan or about money or even about anything that costs money because then people might question why someone hasn’t repaid the loan.
So I would say no if ever friends or family ask me for a loan, to avoid those instances.
RE: Leading money to family and friends - Heatman - 05-24-2018
I'm not comfortable lending money to family or close friends because I'm sure it's going to be difficult to get my money back because the friendship bond would influence me not getting paid. I can easily give grant to friends and family but never call it lending.